Characteristics of an Abuser

Child molesters can be anyone. There is NO ONE COOKIE CUTTER set of characteristics that defines them. They come from all walks of life: male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious, and can be any age or from any race.

Relationship to the Victim

Known and Trusted: Over 90% of abusers are people the child or their family knows.
Parents: Biological mothers and fathers account for the largest share of child maltreatment perpetrators.
Other Relatives & Trusted Adults: Extended family, friends of the family, and authority figures make up the remainder of known abusers, while complete strangers account for a very small minority (roughly 3%) of cases
Offenders are often known to their victims. In most cases, the offender has some sort of relationship with their victim ranging from a close relative to an acquaintance.

Statistics show that the Abuser is:

1. Is usually married. A small number never marry and maintain a lifelong interest in children.

2. Most often an adult male; however, adolescents and women also molest children.

3. May relate better to children and feel more comfortable with their interests.

4. May have few adult friends.

5. May talk with children as one would talk to an adult in order to equalize the relationship.

6. Usually prefers children in a specific age group and one gender over the other.

7. May work or volunteer with programs involving children in the preferred age group.

8. Pursues children for sexual purposes but may attempt to form emotional connections; for example, a mom’s boyfriend spending time with a child and talking at length about his feelings for the child and his own loneliness in order to gain the child’s sympathy.

9. May take photographs of victims: dressed, nude, or in sexual acts.

10. May collect child erotica and child-adult pornography to lower the inhibitions of victims; fantasize when no victim is available; relive past sexual activities; justify inappropriate sexual behavior; or blackmail victims to keep them from telling.

11. May give alcohol or drugs to potential victims to lower inhibitions or gain favor.

12. May seek out organizations that support sexual beliefs and practices.

13. May offer to babysit or take children on trips in order to manipulate situations to be near or molest children.

Have a history of being sexually abused as a child or having experienced other forms of abuse or neglect. (However, not everyone who has been sexually abused will abuse other people.)
Often do not have a criminal background.
Lack of Empathy: An inability or unwillingness to recognize how their actions affect or cause discomfort to others.
Entitlement: A belief that their desires override other people's rights, boundaries, or comfort.
Narcissism & Manipulation: Use of psychological tricks like guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, and playing the victim to elicit sympathy and make targets obligated to them.
Impulsivity: Poor emotional regulation and a general disregard for the consequences of their actions before they occur
Testing Boundaries: Pushing the victim's limits incrementally over time to see what they can get away with before facing resistance.
Isolation: Deliberately separating a target (whether a child or an adult) from friends, family, or support systems to avoid detection.
Creating Secrecy: Swearing victims to secrecy using emotional manipulation, intimidation, or threats (e.g., "This is just our secret").
Boundary Disregard: Continuing to insist on their own desires despite clear verbal or physical reluctance from the victim
Double Standards: Demanding complete compliance, availability, and attention from the victim while maintaining the right to do whatever they please
Exploiting Trust: Frequently operating within close relationships (family members, trusted coworkers, or authority figures) where they can manipulate communal trust
The molestation usually occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim’s adulthood. Through intimidation, the child is made to feel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or within the immediate family.

Demographics of Perpetrators

Age: The vast majority of individuals who perpetrate child maltreatment (about 82%) are between the ages of 18 and 44.
Gender: The gender of perpetrators varies by the type of abuse. For child sexual abuse, perpetrators are predominantly male. For general child maltreatment (which includes severe neglect), both mothers and fathers are heavily represented, though biological fathers/stepfathers commit the majority of severe/fatal physical assaults

MISSING CHILDREN